A Prose Poem and Prayer For Caregivers
From One Caregiver to Another, A Prayer for Greater Ease
It’s hard to hold the hand of a loved one whose suffering has become too great to bear. Even before you got to this point, the nights were sleepless, and the sound of an owl was both comforting and unsettling.
Some days you want to crawl onto that train with them, and cross that river together. And yet you know those travels are theirs, not yours.
Some days, you want to run and hide in a cave, until you can remember who you were before this began. Some days it’s all you can do to feed yourself and your charges.
So you think about the faces of your fellow journeyers. The ones who daily hold a light for a loved one struggling.
And it’s no comfort to know how much suffering goes on each day, the wrestling each loved one has to do to make it through the day, or through a season.
I don’t know who I was before this journey began. It seems so long ago. Pictures of my bright, younger self make me envy that innocence.
But I cannot deny that I’ve sunk more into my heart. I cannot deny life, even the bruised purples of the rainbow. It is life, and I am deeply in it and seeking what is brighter under the dim surface.
I see you in your suffering; I pray that life be gentler. May it offer more ease, more space, more peace. I invite all goodness that can arise. I welcome grace, for all of us.
In the purple edge of night, I hear the whispering of what could be angels. Or maybe they are ancestors. Those who would comfort and guide, whatever name we give them. Who would take the darker colors and spin them into regal violet, who would show you mountains of light if they only could.
They beckon us: look toward the stars. Our hearts can see things our minds cannot. I imagine I hear them whispering: we’re here with you. Take heart.
